


Just This Once

by Trammel



Series: Out of the Wormhole [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3473687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trammel/pseuds/Trammel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony lets himself feel things... once in a while</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just This Once

How is it that out of all of the horrible things that have happened to you, it is still _his_ voice that you hear? His voice in your head.

_Starks don't cry, Anthony._

Right. And you didn't. For over three months of torture, pain, fear, horror, all manner of things you never though you would have to face, you didn't cry. Oh, you screamed, yelled, begged - you begged a lot - and, you do admit to yourself, you probably would have done all kinds of other degrading things had they demanded them of you.

But you didn't cry. Asshole probably would've been proud.

You're home. You did it. You made it. You survived. You got out of that fucking cave and built yourself your own personal generator to keep you alive - and out of fucking spare parts. You're back. You're Tony _fucking_ Stark and you're back.

And now you're here. Home. In your bathroom, which is bigger than most people's homes. It's not confining, not dark, not full of dry heat and sand. It's light and spacious. There's even a hot tub, which you probably won't venture into ever again.

So why are you sitting in the corner, with your back against the wall - _it feels safer that way? -_ trying to breathe?

Why is everything so terrifying now? Now when you thought that things would be better once you made it home. Now that you know what you have to do. Not that it will be easy to change things. But you didn't expect that just making it through each day - navigating the millions of little, stupid decisions that a person makes every day - would be the hard part. Being a person again.

Or at least pretending to be.

Pretending to care about all the stupid things people talk about. Actually wanting people to see you for who you are for once - who you've become. But still having to pretend, like you always have. _Everything's fine. Yeah, it's wonderful to be back._

So maybe here, for five minutes, just this once, you'll allow yourself not to pretend.

Only Jarvis will know. And he won't tell anyone.

He won't tell anyone that Tony Stark hides in his bathroom, puts his head in his hands, and cries.

Just this once.

 


End file.
